November 2008
1 post
notes from the collegetime
Sorry I haven’t been posting here, but I’ve been in college. Here’s some notes, from Tuesday, for proof.
August 2008
1 post
captions with kerian
d8uv: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBlJaPD-CCQ
kerian: playing the wii will get you raped by dogs
d8uv: how can you come up with the funniest possible caption in no time
kerian: thats how i roll
kerian: after most of my life ive figured out that the first thing that comes to my mind is the best thing to say
kerian: it mignt not be right or good but its BEST
d8uv: caption http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHn1n0JJiFc
kerian: that man has a huge mouth and a yamaka, which im pretty sure is 100% not the recipe for breakdancing
d8uv: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxGGyVklPHg ?
kerian: crosswalk 100m, sign now
d8uv: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvWUWtA5jIA ?
kerian: arent segways stupidly expensive, you deserve that
d8uv: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAzrTM4aHfE
kerian: well soldiers are the best and brightest
kerian: also lol woman
July 2008
15 posts
So let me tell you about my day
Random musings:
My cat tried to do a kick ass matrix jump across the bathroom and fell square in the toilet. Swish, nothing but bowl.
Why do tanker trucks need to inform people that the contents are inedible. I cant see going up to suckle on the teat of a road going container with the prospects of either Hydroflouric Acid or maybe if I’m lucky liquid chicken comming out.
The van at...
Facts About Bleach
You can get bleach for your hair, bleach for your teeth, bleach for your toilet, bleach for your floors, and bleach for your kitchen worksurfaces, but you can’t get bleach for your dachshund. Nobody knows why.
Sometimes, if you listen very carefully when you walk past a bleach factory, you can hear the bleach whispering sweet nothings about hydrogen peroxide.
Female Prime Ministers do not,...
be3 cnob →
Let's try this whole "daily comedy" thing again,...
So apparently we suck. Here’s hoping that we don’t suck anymore. Love, ohgodinternet.
Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 1. A room in A Big Fancy...
Enter A BIG FANCY GAY and REYNALDO A Big Fancy Gay Give him this money and these notes, Reynaldo. Reynaldo I will, my gay one. A Big Fancy Gay You shall do marvellous wisely, good Reynaldo, Before you visit him, to make inquire Of his behavior. Reynaldo My gay one, I did intend it. A Big Fancy Gay Marry, well said; very well said. Look you, sir, Inquire me first what Danskers are in...
Curse you hashbrowns, why can't I make you.
So I bought this box of approximately 50 frozen hashbowns, because, you know, hashbrowns are fantastic. I read the the instructions on the side and follow them. The result was this rock-hard, black thing which was on fire. I extinguished the flames and consumed it as punishment. The second time I tried it i wound up with these floppy cold things, but sustained oil burns. Finally, the third...
On doublespacing after punctuation, and covenant...
d8uv: also, why do you put so many spaces between puncutation marks?
jessica: Two spaces after a full stop. Haven't we been over this?
d8uv: And question marks, apparently
d8uv: Do you use a monospace fonted IRC client?
jessica: No.
jessica: But I type this way.
jessica: It annoys the life out of crschmidt, but that's not my chief motivation for doing so � rather, it's lifelong habit.
d8uv: It annoys the fuck out of everyone who knows things about typography
d8uv: It's like using MS Comic Sans
d8uv: I mean, it seems like an allright thing to do, but it only marks you as Someone Who Doesn't Know Anything
jessica: I never claimed to know anything about typography; instead, I type the way I've typed my entire life. And I'd say it's not half as annoying as using Comic Sans. In fact, I'd be surprised if most people even noticed.
d8uv: Did old crusty typing teachers beat it into you?
jessica: I really don't want to think of the hygienic habits of the nuns who taught me as a child, sir.
d8uv: I bet they shed their skin when they took off their habits
d8uv: And inside is a spindly little dwarf, with a head that resembles a coconut, but with like a normal face on it
jessica: Better than picturing convent cunnilingus.
d8uv: And all it wears is a loincloth made from a bandana one of the New Kids on the Block wore in one of their videros
jessica goes back to reading about Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9.
sbp speaking
sbp: Hello internets. This is sbp speaking. Do not be afraid. The sbp weblogging system is on the air. I will speak in short sentences. Short sentences are awesome. Like d8uv’s face. And kerian’s face. My friends have beautiful faces. Do you have beautiful faces? If so, you can get an ointment for that.
...
The only other mention of ohgodinternet on the... →
It borders on rule34. Of veggietales. Strangely appropriate considering the proprietors of this web site, to be honest.
Consumption of paper products; with a tic-tac...
kerian: :S why am i eating this paper towel im not that hungry
d8uv: i had it worse a couple nights ago
d8uv: i cut open a tube of vaseline lip therapy, and ate it
kerian: i propose that tictacs are not a mint but a candy
kerian: have you ever had a citrus tictac which a)freshened your breath and b)didnt down a bunch like candy
kerian: its candy
kerian: they lie
d8uv: but... i mostly played with it, leading me to accidentally mention on skype that I had to wash up cause my hands were covered in vaseline
d8uv: everyone there was all "..."
kerian: the thing is that this paper towel isnt that bad
d8uv: i know
d8uv: i used to eat graph paper in high school precalc class
d8uv: T_T
kerian: dude was it the kind of bluewhite graph paper with blue lines?
d8uv: yes
kerian: that shit was tasty
kerian: best tasting paper
d8uv: the saddest thing is that the paper is probably the only source of fiber in our diets T_T
kerian: i am totally sending a comment to bounty that they need mt dew flavored paper towels
d8uv: um what
d8uv: steps to dew flavored paper towels:
d8uv: 1. spill your dew on a counter
d8uv: 2. clean that shit up
kerian: duuuude
kerian: doing this
kerian: now work on a chicken strip dinner towel
* A few minutes later
d8uv: status report on dew bounty
kerian: your advice ruined a perfectly scrumptious paper towel
d8uv: !
kerian: it tasted just all wrong
d8uv: maybe you gotta dry it out?
kerian: maybe if i spilled mt dew syrup
kerian: cleaned it up
kerian: let it dry
kerian: then consumed it
d8uv: or you can, you know
d8uv: stop doing things that 3 year olds have outgrew
kerian: you have no room to criticize mr
d8uv: hey the last paper product i ate was like 4 years ago
d8uv: maybe one
kerian: you have moved up to petroleum products, congrats
d8uv: i know
d8uv: more refined
d8uv: in all senses of the word
kerian: haha pun
kerian: im going to go drink some turpentine right now
d8uv: k peace out
A summary of what the fuck just happened:
d8uv: Ok so I mentioned that Kerian and sbp and I should make a blog together. So Kerian and I went and tried to make a good name for a while, finally settling on ohgodinternet. About 3 minutes later, I had this set up. Kerian made the first post with his usual dong huffing, and I made what I thought was the first post. Kerian edited his post to publically humilate me, I edited my post to retort,...
i didn't cheat
What the hell man why would you say such hurtful things T_T
Like I know how to move posts in the retarded sounding “Tumblrlog”. I don’t even know if they call it a “Tumblrlog”. I’m just guessing so because this is a web2.0 website and that’s the most retarded way to do it, and thus it must be.
first post
This is the worst thing ever to do, btw. Don’t do this.
BTW don’t do vvvvv either.
A blog for fags
If you’re here, you’ve probably huffed a dong. ^^^^^^^^^-HAHA You suck.
You cheater >:[